Well I had another of my patented sleepless nights last night. I was prescribed Ambien two days ago and it worked well the night before, but I decided not to take it last night.
Here's how I'm coping with the disappointment: I'm going to Istanbul. ...and Italy.
I booked airfare to from home to Rome, and then, a week later, flying from Rome to Istanbul. Right smack at the beginning of 2012, I leave Minneapolis on New Year's Day.
I oughtta be thrilled. I seem to be going through odd grief over the sudden death of my study abroad plans. I actually felt like I got over it pretty quick after the initial hour or two of heartbreak. I started looking forward to the other opportunities that will now be open to me without this study abroad in place: First, all the money I was going to tap for the study abroad. It's freed up. Mostly I'll be saving it to keep living while I focus on school, but I'm tapping into a little of it for the new trip abroad. The entire airfare was just over $1300, though. I really should be celebrating naked in the streets. That's the total cost to fly from here to Rome, Rome to Istanbul, and then back home. Hostels are also awful cheap so lodging won't bruise me too bad, either.
I also bought two tickets to Les Miserables here in Minneapolis for my fiance and myself.
Anyway, even though I just booked the Italy/Istanbul trip less than an hour ago, I'm not overwhelmed with excitement. It's probably the sleepless night. The pressure of the current semester of school is still on. The weather's starting to turn cold. I'm sure there is plenty of lingering disappointment over the thwarted study abroad plans. I think a big thing is that I'll be taking this trip alone, and I don't speak Italian or Turkish so I suppose I'm a little anxious about how well I'll get around when I'm over there. That is probably the big thing. I'm going, though. It's Europe, not Nanking.
I'll be fulfilling a lifelong dream in visiting Italy.
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Kicked, Bound, Gagged, Blindfolded. Cowering At Gunpoint.
The subject line of this entry is the undramatic way I would
choose to describe my hopes of following through with my study abroad plans
after today’s meeting with the financial aid office. The U of MN aggressively
promotes study abroad. I’ve heard it from professors, from various readings, it’s
advertised all over campus. I had read that they will offer to increase
financial aid for special circumstances, and study abroad was one such special
circumstance explicitly named where I read this. Well, I dunno if I
misunderstood or what, but I’m eligible for almost zero extra financial aid. I
might’ve been eligible for more if I were a dependent student. Translation: the
U would be happy to loan money to my parents to help them pay for it if I weren’t
an independent person, if I were a 20-year-old on Mom and Dad’s dime.
So I feel a little stupid and embarrassed at this point. It’s
nothing I’m not used to, though. My life is choc full of dramatic travel plans
on which I fail to follow through. Not the worst thing, though, I just dream
big, but when it comes time to pay up, I go with the more realistic options. 3
weeks in Europe? Mmmm… how about a 10-day road-trip through Canada one summer,
and 5 days in Miami a year later, and Twins’ season tickets every season instead.
Not entirely something to be disappointed by.
And since I am in dreaming mode, I should say: I still have
every intention of going to Istanbul. It just probably won’t be for Spring
Semester 2012, and it may not be for any semester. It may be on a private trip
in January 2012, between semesters at the U of M. Or perhaps at some other
time, but, damnit, I really wanna go. And I have the money to do it right now.
Monday, November 7, 2011
Inspiration and Fear in Washington DC
I am typing this at 6:10 A.M. EST from the top bunk of a dorm in a Washington D.C. hostel on 11th Ave NW between N St. and O St.
I just spent the day here to attend the demonstration outside the White House calling on President Obama to nix plans for the Keystone XL Pipeline.
Inspiring Site: a collection of possibly 10,000 people, mostly 2008 Obama voters, calling on Obama to actually listen to them. The tone was definitely confrontational, though maybe not quite adversarial, because Obama has not cast his lot with Pipeline proponents yet, even though his State Department has, and he did hire a Keystone XL lobbyist to operate on his campaign. It was certainly much-needed pressure.
A little more on-topic for this blog: I was lucky enough to meet people in my short time here who offered some insight that is at least tangentially related to my study abroad.
The lady operating the hostel when I arrived was from Lithuania. She was older, I'd put her in her mid-50's. She struck as me as someone who probably looks older than she is, hard to say why. She said she moved to the United States about 10 years ago. I asked her how she felt it compared to her life in Lithuania, she didn't offer a particularly ringing endorsement of American life. She said she did have more opportunity for education as an older person here, implying that Lithuanian and perhaps European education is more strictly for the young. Otherwise: she seemed to sum up her complaints about American life with a statement of distaste for "the rat race" here.
One bit of culture shock she had to endure was that Americans will ask "how are you doing?" when they're not actually curious. She had to learn that whatever the true answer is, you are supposed to say "you're fine." I swear this is something about our culture that has always struck me as curious. I think it might be fair enough to chalk it up to a quirky formality. It is definitely tempting, though, interpret it as a negative indictment on our culture: we make the show of sincere concern for others, but it is important to understand that it is a show only, and it is a cultural violation to take the expression literally and actually use it as an opportunity to air any unpleasant feelings.
I also met Lemuel, a 27-year-old, African-American, grew-up-a-Navy-brat, ex(?)-Marine (he served for 6 years and is actually not sure of his official status now, he might technically be "on reserve" but in practice he declares himself no longer active, done with the service). He is a fellow hostel-patron. In what I would call unusual fashion for myself, and in somewhat ironic fashion considering what I just discussed about superficial American pleasantries, he and I exchanged a few pleasantries that wound up launching a 2-hour conversation.
I've been struggling a little bit with school this year: I have one paper I didn't hand in, and I've missed more than a few classes. This is amidst a 12-credit semester, and for Spring in Istanbul I'm required to enroll in at least 15 credits. It is naturally fueling anxiety about whether the program is a good idea, one more thing to worry about. I discussed this with Lemuel and he offered pretty simple but profound insight: the thing about school is, it is always there. You just have to keep going back. Really no one should know this better than me but for my proclivity to worry. Lemuel had fairly authoritative credentials: he's finishing up his master's degree at George Washington University. This is on top of beginning employment with a school for flight instruction (from which he's been taking flying lessons), and, of course, on top of being a Marine. Oh, he's also fluent in Spanish and Portugese. So maybe he's anything but the authority I from whom I, Mr. Slacker, should be taking life advice- of course it's easy advice coming from a Type A overachiever. He swore to me, though, that he was diagnosed ADD at a young age, and he swore to me that he's had to drop more than his share of classes.
Meeting and talking with Lemuel and the Lithuanian hostel-keeper were reinforcing experiences. Lemuel's advice has me in a particular mindset right now, and hopefully it is an enduring mindset: what's the worst that could happen in Istanbul? What if I take 15 credits and get an F in 6 of them? Well, is that really money wasted? In exchange for a semester in Istanbul? OK, writing it out like that, admittedly is scary, and... hmm... well, actually it sounds pretty darn shitty. I can imagine extreme disappointment and discouragement. But 15 credits are the requirement. Hmm, honestly as I ponder it now, I do not feel reassured. So much for enduring courage. I still want to go through with it all, though. I suppose one trick will be figuring out how to keep my anxious nature from making obstacles bigger than they are.
I just spent the day here to attend the demonstration outside the White House calling on President Obama to nix plans for the Keystone XL Pipeline.
Inspiring Site: a collection of possibly 10,000 people, mostly 2008 Obama voters, calling on Obama to actually listen to them. The tone was definitely confrontational, though maybe not quite adversarial, because Obama has not cast his lot with Pipeline proponents yet, even though his State Department has, and he did hire a Keystone XL lobbyist to operate on his campaign. It was certainly much-needed pressure.
A little more on-topic for this blog: I was lucky enough to meet people in my short time here who offered some insight that is at least tangentially related to my study abroad.
The lady operating the hostel when I arrived was from Lithuania. She was older, I'd put her in her mid-50's. She struck as me as someone who probably looks older than she is, hard to say why. She said she moved to the United States about 10 years ago. I asked her how she felt it compared to her life in Lithuania, she didn't offer a particularly ringing endorsement of American life. She said she did have more opportunity for education as an older person here, implying that Lithuanian and perhaps European education is more strictly for the young. Otherwise: she seemed to sum up her complaints about American life with a statement of distaste for "the rat race" here.
One bit of culture shock she had to endure was that Americans will ask "how are you doing?" when they're not actually curious. She had to learn that whatever the true answer is, you are supposed to say "you're fine." I swear this is something about our culture that has always struck me as curious. I think it might be fair enough to chalk it up to a quirky formality. It is definitely tempting, though, interpret it as a negative indictment on our culture: we make the show of sincere concern for others, but it is important to understand that it is a show only, and it is a cultural violation to take the expression literally and actually use it as an opportunity to air any unpleasant feelings.
I also met Lemuel, a 27-year-old, African-American, grew-up-a-Navy-brat, ex(?)-Marine (he served for 6 years and is actually not sure of his official status now, he might technically be "on reserve" but in practice he declares himself no longer active, done with the service). He is a fellow hostel-patron. In what I would call unusual fashion for myself, and in somewhat ironic fashion considering what I just discussed about superficial American pleasantries, he and I exchanged a few pleasantries that wound up launching a 2-hour conversation.
I've been struggling a little bit with school this year: I have one paper I didn't hand in, and I've missed more than a few classes. This is amidst a 12-credit semester, and for Spring in Istanbul I'm required to enroll in at least 15 credits. It is naturally fueling anxiety about whether the program is a good idea, one more thing to worry about. I discussed this with Lemuel and he offered pretty simple but profound insight: the thing about school is, it is always there. You just have to keep going back. Really no one should know this better than me but for my proclivity to worry. Lemuel had fairly authoritative credentials: he's finishing up his master's degree at George Washington University. This is on top of beginning employment with a school for flight instruction (from which he's been taking flying lessons), and, of course, on top of being a Marine. Oh, he's also fluent in Spanish and Portugese. So maybe he's anything but the authority I from whom I, Mr. Slacker, should be taking life advice- of course it's easy advice coming from a Type A overachiever. He swore to me, though, that he was diagnosed ADD at a young age, and he swore to me that he's had to drop more than his share of classes.
Meeting and talking with Lemuel and the Lithuanian hostel-keeper were reinforcing experiences. Lemuel's advice has me in a particular mindset right now, and hopefully it is an enduring mindset: what's the worst that could happen in Istanbul? What if I take 15 credits and get an F in 6 of them? Well, is that really money wasted? In exchange for a semester in Istanbul? OK, writing it out like that, admittedly is scary, and... hmm... well, actually it sounds pretty darn shitty. I can imagine extreme disappointment and discouragement. But 15 credits are the requirement. Hmm, honestly as I ponder it now, I do not feel reassured. So much for enduring courage. I still want to go through with it all, though. I suppose one trick will be figuring out how to keep my anxious nature from making obstacles bigger than they are.
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Abridged Checklist Complete
I am happy to report that every item on the abridged checklist from my post two days ago is now complete. The only exception is that I've completed 4 of the 5 "to-do" list items on the CIEE program's web site. The final item is a checklist to be completed by my physician, which I obviously can not complete. But I've printed the form and I have an appt for a physical scheduled for this coming Tuesday the 8th.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Pronouncing "Qatar" In the Shower
Just took a 20-minute shower and spent a surprising amount of the time attempting to pronounce "Qatar" as it is pronounced in Arabic, someone just randomly listening in on me would think I was desperately trying to clear dust from my throat and also emitting little kitty-purr sounds. I did learn that the closest English equivalent, per the guy in the video below, is "Cutter," which surprises me, but I give myself credit for mentioning it as a possible pronunciation in my previous post.
I really admire how this young man just dips right into what sounds to me like a perfect Arabic pronunciation amidst normal English.
I really admire how this young man just dips right into what sounds to me like a perfect Arabic pronunciation amidst normal English.
Abridged Checklist
Doha, Days Until Departure: 54
Istanbul, Days Until Departure: 86
One highly mistaken assumption I held when I began applying for these study abroad programs was that the big hurdle to participating in the programs was acceptance to them. Or, at least, I assumed that once accepted, the rest of the process was mostly formality. Wrong. That is not how it feels right now. Unfortunately, I think that assumption has still been emotionally guiding the process over the last week or so. That is to say: I'm kinda slacking on important next-steps.
The pre-departure checklists for both programs is pretty overwhelming. To help me a long, I'm going to post a short checklist of the most immediate to-do's for me right now.
_ Apply to Koc University. This is the Istanbul institution at which I'll be studying. One hurdle for me to complete related to this step:
-Call CIEE (operator of the whole study abroad program) and find out if I need to submit my entire college transcript (4 schools) or just my U of MN transcript when I apply. The answer to that question will determine how I proceed.
Complete by: November 7th.
_ Set an appointment for a physical. Complete by: ASAP.
_ Ask CIEE if I can expect an SACE (Study Abroad Cost Estimate), will need this for my November 9 financial aid meeting. Complete by: ASAP.
_ Complete all 5 "To-Do" items on my CIEE online checklist, some of the checklist items I'm posting here are part of this to-do list. Other items include, basically, signing an agreement to terms or acceptance of participation rules, so on so forth.
Getting these things done will sorta get the ball rolling again. Still SO much more beyond all this, notice I didn't even cover applying for my student visas. ::Deep Breath:: ... ::Exhale:: ...
Istanbul, Days Until Departure: 86
One highly mistaken assumption I held when I began applying for these study abroad programs was that the big hurdle to participating in the programs was acceptance to them. Or, at least, I assumed that once accepted, the rest of the process was mostly formality. Wrong. That is not how it feels right now. Unfortunately, I think that assumption has still been emotionally guiding the process over the last week or so. That is to say: I'm kinda slacking on important next-steps.
The pre-departure checklists for both programs is pretty overwhelming. To help me a long, I'm going to post a short checklist of the most immediate to-do's for me right now.
_ Apply to Koc University. This is the Istanbul institution at which I'll be studying. One hurdle for me to complete related to this step:
-Call CIEE (operator of the whole study abroad program) and find out if I need to submit my entire college transcript (4 schools) or just my U of MN transcript when I apply. The answer to that question will determine how I proceed.
Complete by: November 7th.
_ Set an appointment for a physical. Complete by: ASAP.
_ Ask CIEE if I can expect an SACE (Study Abroad Cost Estimate), will need this for my November 9 financial aid meeting. Complete by: ASAP.
_ Complete all 5 "To-Do" items on my CIEE online checklist, some of the checklist items I'm posting here are part of this to-do list. Other items include, basically, signing an agreement to terms or acceptance of participation rules, so on so forth.
Getting these things done will sorta get the ball rolling again. Still SO much more beyond all this, notice I didn't even cover applying for my student visas. ::Deep Breath:: ... ::Exhale:: ...
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Gimme Five Bees for a Qatar, You'd Say*
Some questions:
-What the hell is a Qatar?
-How did Qatar come to be?
-Related: Does Qatar have a native people distinct from the native people of elsewhere in the Arabian peninsula? Was it created as a nation by the West in the same arbitrary fashion as I understand nations like Jordan, Syria, Lebanon, Iraq, and others were?
-What's the common pronunciation of Qatar? In my experience, I've picked up "KAH tar," "Katter" (very close to "cutter"), and "kah TAR" (like: "hey, dude, check out my Fender kah-TAR")
As I am able, I will update this blog post with answers to these questions.
Incidentally, I'm going to Qatar to study the role of the Arab media in the 2011 Arab Spring. Really excited about that.
*Note: this post's title is inspired by a Simpsons quote. If you're curious to learn more: check out the episode "Last Exit to Springfield," you shouldn't be disappointed. One warning: it has nothing to do with Qatar.
-What the hell is a Qatar?
-How did Qatar come to be?
-Related: Does Qatar have a native people distinct from the native people of elsewhere in the Arabian peninsula? Was it created as a nation by the West in the same arbitrary fashion as I understand nations like Jordan, Syria, Lebanon, Iraq, and others were?
-What's the common pronunciation of Qatar? In my experience, I've picked up "KAH tar," "Katter" (very close to "cutter"), and "kah TAR" (like: "hey, dude, check out my Fender kah-TAR")
As I am able, I will update this blog post with answers to these questions.
Incidentally, I'm going to Qatar to study the role of the Arab media in the 2011 Arab Spring. Really excited about that.
*Note: this post's title is inspired by a Simpsons quote. If you're curious to learn more: check out the episode "Last Exit to Springfield," you shouldn't be disappointed. One warning: it has nothing to do with Qatar.
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